Depression
by makoto-18
Summary: Usagi has a secret that could kill her. Will the others find out in time?
1. Morning Sucks!

**I do not own Sailor Moon or any of the characters. This is a very angsty dark fic. Read at your own risk.**

***** HA * - thoughts

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Today just had to start out this way. There was no way I could have avoided it.

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BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! * Ugh, just another five minutes. That's all I need* Usagi rolled over and hit the snooze button and fell back into oblivion.

Her door slammed open and she jumped up from her sleeping position. Usagi stared at the person at her door and knew there was no delaying in getting up this morning.

‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑

During the mad dash for school, all Usagi could think about was the battle with the youma the night before and the fight that had happened afterwards.

****Flash Back**

The youma is at the park where most of the attacks occur. * arriving late as usual, Usagi* thinks Sailor Moon mentally kicking herself.

"Dammit Sailor Moon, we needed you here sooner. Why are you so lazy?" screamed Sailor Mars.

" Gomen nasai, minna!" apologised a very sorry Sailor Moon.

Just then the youma decided to attack while the sailors were distracted. Sailor Moon had seen in slow motion as his attack smashed into the backs of Mercury and Jupiter, sending them crashing into a tree. She had tried to push them out of the way because she saw the attack coming but fell hard to the ground.

*damn! That hurts* thought Sailor Moon, feeling her injury from a previous incident.

The other sailors thought she had another klutz attack and were furious at her. " Shit Sailor Moon, what are we gonna do about you?" yelled Sailor Venus as she went in for an attack against the youma.

" MARS FLAME SNIPER! "

The fire arrow hit the youma in the middle of the forehead and killed it. Mars turned around and glared at Sailor Moon.

" How could you have a klutz attack right in the middle of a battle? You got Mercury and Jupiter injured." yelled an irate Mars.

" But...but.." stammered Sailor Moon. Not knowing how to explain to the scouts about her injuries. After a second she realized that it was her fault and didn't explain to them why she fell.

" I don't wanna hear any excuses from you! " said a severely pained Jupiter.

After that was said, they powered down back into their clothes. The whole group cornered Usagi by some trees " I don't think you deserve to be leader of the group" suggested a still pissed Rei.

As this was said, all Usagi did was turn around with her head pointed to the ground, feeling guilty. She started to walk through the trees taking the longest way out of the park, walking home fearing what was to come. Somewhere in her head she could hear them yelling as she was walking away.

****End Flash Back**

In sight of Juuban Middle School, Usagi started to cry. * If only they knew, but I can't tell them. All they will think is that I am weak. HA! they already do. They probably wouldn't believe me anyway.* thought a very depressed Usagi.

**BONG! BONG! BONG!**

*shit, shit, shit! I am late*

‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑

At lunch, Usagi hid in a secluded area on campus to avoid the others and to eat lunch. As Usagi took a deep breath of the fresh air, she winced at her sore ribs.

* DAMNIT! they hurt so bad. Why does this happen to me?* thought the ever depressed Usagi. Little did she know that Ami was watching her hold her ribs in pain.

" Hey, Usagi!"

* Fuck, and when I thought I got away for a minute.* scowled Usagi. She turned and said in a fake cheery voice " Hey, guys!" looking at Ami, Minako, and Makoto.

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**AN- **Hey people. Just going through this because I finally got time to write some more for my stories again. I realized just how bad of a lazy writer I was, so I will be doing some minor editing on these chapters and possibly combining some of these later.


	2. lunch

Thanks Sakura-chan for reviewing!

" Hey Usagi-chan, are you all right? " asked a curious Ami.

" Yeah, why wouldn't I be? " asked Usagi, in a slightly miffed voice.*Uh-oh, I am in for it now. They are going to yell at me for leaving last night.*

Ami, Makoto, and Minako sat on the ground next to Usagi and opened their lunches.  
"Well I saw you a minute ago and it looked to me like you were holding your side  
as if you were hurt," said Ami.

"Ah Ami-chan, Usa-chan just probably tripped again," laughed Makoto.

*They really do think I am a klutz. Even Mako, who usually sticks up for me.*  
"Hehe, yeah. I fell on the way to school this morning," explained the not so happy Usagi.  
*I wonder when I can stop living a lie, and let them see the real me?*

Ami didn't look too sure about the answer Usagi gave. She was positive there was  
something more to it. *I guess I will have to talk to her alone about it. She won't say  
anything in front of the others.* Ami sat thinking of ways to force the issue with Usagi.

"So Usagi-chan, why did you leave last night?" asked the ever curious Minako.

"Uh . . . . . I . . . had to get home before my parents realised I wasn't in my room.

They would have grounded me if they went in there and not seen me in my room," said Usagi,  
wondering if they could tell if it was a lie. *I can't tell them I think that they are right about  
me not being a good leader. I will lose the only friends I got.* Usagi thought dejectedly.

*Hmmm... I wonder what has gotten into Usagi lately? She is smiling, but her eyes have  
a blank sad look to them. Like she's not really happy. Nah, that can't be. This is Usagi.*  
thought Makoto.

"Uh look guys, I have to leave for my next class. I'll talk to you later, Ja." said Usagi  
She walked off towards the school building leaving the rest behind looking at her.

"You guys, is it just me or does Usagi seem different today? And why are her sides sore?  
She didn't get injured that I know of during the youma battle last night," asked Ami.

Makoto turned and looked at Ami, "I think what Rei said to her last night has something to  
do with her attitude today. Who knows, maybe she is going to start listening to what Rei says.  
As for why her sides hurt, I think it's probably like she said, she fell this morning."

"I agree with Mako-chan on why her sides hurt. But why she is like this today, I don't think  
Rei had anything to do with it. Usagi just usually lets that stuff go in one ear and out the other,  
because she knows that all Rei is trying to do is protect her," said Minako.

"I am going to talk to Usagi today after school to see if I can find anything out. I think we  
should have a meeting at the temple without her there to discuss what's going on," suggested Ami.

"Ok"

**After school in the front**

*Ok, where is Usagi? Look, there's Naru, I'll ask her where Usagi is at.* "Hey Naru, have  
you seen Usagi-chan?" asked a slightly worried Ami.

"She leaves school fifteen minutes early everyday to pick up her little brother, except for on  
Fridays when he goes to a friends house," said a confused Naru.*Some friends Usagi has. They  
don't even know what she does after school.* she thought kind of angrily.

"Thanks Naru!" said Ami.*I wonder why Usagi never told us that. We always figured she  
had detention. This is getting a little weirder.*

On the way to the Hikawa jinja Ami bumped into Makoto literally. "Hey Ami-chan, you got  
something on your mind?" asked Makoto.

"I'll tell you and the others when we get to Rei's. I think it is important," said a slightly  
mystified Ami.

Makoto just made a sound of agreement and continued to walk along in silence.

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That's it for this chapter. ^_^


	3. On the way home

Hey look, it's chapter three!!  
  
  
~~~~~*******~~~~~~~  
  
(At Shingo's school)  
  
*I wish the bell would hurry up and ring so we can get home in time!*   
Usagi had a very worried   
look on her face as she was staring up at the school entrance doors.  
  
****Bong, Bong, Bong****  
  
*About freaking time it goes off. Come on Shingo, don't hang around today.   
You have no idea   
what happens to me*  
  
An assorted group of elementary kids come storming out of the building all at  
once.   
Usagi is looking through the group looking out for one sandy haired little boy.   
*There he is.*   
"Shingo!! Over here," exclaimed Usagi waving her hands around.  
  
"Hey Usagi, ready to go home?" asked Shingo. *I can see that dead look in her   
eyes. I think we are going to be a little late today. I know what happens to   
her on the weekends, thats why she always sends me away. I'm the only real   
family she has left.* They started to walk down the   
street towards their house. *I remeber when i first found out.......  
  
~~FlashBack~~  
  
*I can't believe I forgot to grab my new Sailor V game this morning!! I hope   
the door is unlocked!*thought Shingo as he ran home so he could get back to his   
friends faster. *Good the door IS unlocked. Now all I have to do is find the   
stupid thing.*  
  
Shingo starts to walk into the living room when he hears a loud thump from   
the floor above him then hears a muffled sound.   
  
*What was that? Usagi probably dropped her school bag on her foot or something.  
Why are all the lights downstrairs off ?*  
  
Shingo had by now made it to the tv and started looking for the missing game   
when her heard another loud thump. This time it was followed be a small sob.   
Shingo looked up at the ceiling and decided he better go check it out.  
  
He made his way to the stairs and made it up the first two steps when he heard   
a soft plea.  
  
"Please stop."  
  
"What makes you think I am gonna stop just cause you ask?" was the yelled reply   
followed by a loud smack and then a crashing noise as the other person went   
flying into a desk.  
  
Shingo's eyes were as big as dinner plates at this noise. He slowly crept up   
the rest of the stairs to Usagi's room. what he saw there he will never forget   
for the rest of his life.  
  
Usagi was on the ground barely breathing from where her ribs connected with the   
corner of the desk. Blood was coming from her the corner of her mouth and   
dripping from her nose. Their father was bending down at the moment to pick her   
up. Usagi flinched and anger flashed across the man's face. He grabed her around   
the throat and slammed her against the wall.  
  
"Don't you ever flinch when I am near you!" screamed the man.  
  
All Usagi could do was nod her head yes. He then dropped her to the floor and   
started to kick her. She tried to curl up into a ball to lessen the blows to   
her already broken ribs.  
  
Shingo couldn't believe what he was seeing. He slowly back out of the hallway   
and back down the stairs. He completely forgot about his game and just continued   
straight out the front door.  
  
~~End FlashBack~~  
  
*That was just this past weekend that I found out. I wonder how long this has   
been going on. Why have i never been beaten like Usagi has?* For the life of him,   
Shingo could not figure out these answers and didn't even want to come up with   
anymore questions to the situation.  
  
Shingo looked up and they were walking up the driveway already. *Oh no, father's   
car is already in the drive and Usa doesn't have dinner ready!* Shingo glanced   
sideways at his sister, her face was really pale but other than that you couldn't   
tell what she was feeling. *I guess she still doesn't know that I know and is   
still trying to hide it.*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
hmmmm.... wonder what happens next chapter 


	4. Shattered Soul

chapter 4!!  
  
WARNING!!!!!!! THIS CHAPTER IS VERY DARK. VERY EXPLICIT SCENES AHEAD. IF SKIPPED IT WILL   
NOT MATTER. LATER CHAPTERS WILL AMPLY IMPLY WHAT HAPPENS. I'm not sure if I should even be  
posting this chapter. oh well i'll take the bad with the good. if they dump me from this site, i am also posting at   
mediaminer.org  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*I think I just saw my life flash before my eyes. Is that really possible? Who cares? I am in   
some major shit right now. Okay, I have to think. Please, whatever Kami happens to be awake  
at this moment, be merciful. I don't really believe that is thinking on my part, but hey, whatever   
works to get me out of this. I don't think I can handle it this weekend. Oh hell! The weekend is   
almost here.* Usagi had considerably paled when she walked up the drive and her body was put   
on automatic seeing as how her brain was completely occupied at the moment.  
  
The two siblings both seemed to be on auto as they walked up the drive staring at the car. Both   
knew that this outcome would not be good.  
  
(Inside the house)  
  
*Where is that ingrate I adopted out of goodwill just cause the woman asked? I bet she dragged  
my little boy into being late also. She knows what happens when she drags him into things. Too   
bad that ingrateful bitch of a wife ran out on me a couple of years ago. That's ok, Usagi fully   
appreciates what her mother got.* The slightly drunk man sat on the couch brewing in his purely   
dark, evil thoughts.   
  
The front door opens ever so slowly so as not to make a sound. Both the kids look at each other   
and deffinently knew that this was not going to end well.  
  
*Fuck the cock-sucker to hell!! How in the world did Shingo find out?! I always made sure he   
wasn't home when this happened. By the look on his face though I would say he doesn't know   
all of it though. Thank the Kami for the little things!* Usagi leaned over and whispered into her  
little brother's ear, "Whatever happens, absolutely do not come out of your room! In fact, go to  
my room, you can crawl from the tree branch down to the ground and get the hell out of here!   
If...when you leave, go to the Hikawa Jinja and ask for Hino Rei. Tell them that you are my little   
brother and that if they demand proof you know who I am and what they really are." Usagi said  
that with a slight smirk. She would never let her brother know who she was, it was for his own   
good. This just happened to be the only way he could get to Rei if the meeting already started.   
"No, I am not going to give you any clue as to what I just said. Just tell them that it is urgent that  
they get here as fast as possible. When dad (Usagi shudders at this word) tells you to go upstairs,  
just sneak into my room, ok?" pleaded the now shaking girl.  
  
Shingo turned his head to look into his sister's eyes and knew that he had to follow her instuctions.   
He nodded his head yes and they proceded to walk into the silent and darkened house. Usagi shut  
the door with regular speed so the slightly drunk man in the living room heard that they were   
home.  
  
Almost instantaniously the man appeared at the doorway between the hallway and the other room.  
He glared at Usagi. The look, she knew only too well and that this time he wasn't going to wait   
till the weekend. She could only pray that Shingo gets out in time and gets help fast enough.  
  
"Hey Shingo! Why don't you go up to your room and play that new game you got? I have to talk   
with little Usagi here and ask why she was late in bringing you home and not at least having   
supper ready?" asked the man.  
  
Usagi shuddered at the use of 'little' before her name. That could only mean one thing. A hollow   
look entered her eyes and she turned her face to Shingo. She silently told him not to protest and   
to go upstairs.  
  
When Shingo saw that look in Usagi's eyes, hey knew that something was really wrong, but he   
couldn't figure it out. Seeing that it would be worse for her if he stayed downstairs, he walked up   
the steps, looked back to make sure his father wasn't looking and snuck into Usagi's room. He   
highly doubted that the beating would even make it to her room, so he wasn't too worried about   
being caught in there.  
  
(Back downstairs in the hallway)  
  
"Why the fuck were you late?" growled the man.  
  
A blank look came to her face and he took it that she was at fault somehow. He grabbed the front  
of her shirt into a tight fist and threw her into the wall.  
  
*Shit, shit, shit. This is going to be worse than all the rest. Damn the fuckin ginzuoishou! Last   
time I tried to use it to black myself from the pain he just beat and raped me worse. All it protects   
me from now is from me getting pregnant by this sick bastard. Thank the Kami for that! How did   
I end up in this hell hole?* Usagi's train of thought was cut of as her whole body slammed into the  
wall behinde her. She didn't even realise that he had even moved closer to her.  
  
Usagi's head made a sickening crack when it connected with the wall. When she slid down it she   
left a small blood trail following her. Seeing that she was dazed, Katsuo (the man, don't ask about   
the name i made it up) reached down and grabbed her shirt again, but this time with both hands.   
once he got a firm grip on the cloth he ripped it open in the front. This left some slight bruising   
where the cuffs of the shirt was. He then picked her up, turned around and proceded to throw her   
into the other room. There was a very loud crash and an even louder scream. Usagi had flown into  
a small table that had a lamp on top of it. Her lower back hit the corner of the small table with   
such force that you could hear an audible 'POP' from her body. The table turned over which also   
caused to her land on the lamp and shred her back to peices. She was now bleeding heavily from  
all the shards of glass going into her back.  
  
*Oh KAMI, that hurt my back so bad! OH FUCKING HELL!! I CAN'T MOVE MY LEGS!!   
How am I supposed to run or defend myself. I don't think I am goin to live through this one!*   
Usagi was now crying openly and trying to pull herself away from Katsuo.  
  
He had heard the ominous 'Pop', but didn't pay any attention to it. He continued to advance on   
Usagi's slowly moving body. His eyes widened when he saw the blood on the clean carpet. For   
some reason this enraged the man even more. He placed a foot onto her back to stop her   
movements, but this only caused her to yell at such a blood curdling pitch that he had to cover  
his ears. He removed his foot and she stopped screaming. He grinned to himself at the new   
torture method he just discovered. Now all he had to do was find something that would plug his   
ears somewhat. He wasn't worried at all about the neighbors hearing or her escaping. This house  
had previously been owned by musicians and was very well sound proofed as not to disturb the   
other residents of the community. She wouldn't get away because she was now no longer thinking   
about movement of any sort.  
  
*Oh kami, can't move.....pain hurts......too much......Shingo I need help.......The ginzouishou won't   
put me into a sleep cause it..................knows that...it will get worse...or that I might die......let me   
die......I can't handle the pain....* Usagi lost all coherent thought as she saw his feet in front of her   
face.  
  
He had come back with a pair of scissors knowing that he wouldn't be able to pull the pants off of   
her. He kneeled over and started cutting the material. Usagi started to whimper and mutter 'no'   
repeatedly at this development, but could do nothing about it.  
  
As soon as he got the pants off, he pulled her into the middle of the living room so he had more   
space. He stood behind her and pulled off his own pants and underwear leaving them close to him   
to put them back on when he was finished. He knelt down onto his knees, hooked one finger onto   
the edge of her underwear and ripped them off. This caused her to scream again cause of the   
effect it had on her back with the sudden sharp movement.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
(Somewhere in Juuban)  
  
*Kami, I'm lost! How am I supposed to get this Hino Rei if I don't know where I am?  
'ASK BAKA!' ok that was way wierd, but whoever said that was right* Shingo stopped and  
grabbed the nearest arm to him.  
  
"Can I help you?" asked a not too friendly voice.  
  
"How do you get to the Hikawa Jinja?" Shingo asked in a slightly wavering voice.  
  
"Up the block, this side of the road. But you won't be there for about fifteen minutes.   
You are......" The man didn't even have time to finish, for shingo had already started to sprint up   
the road.  
  
*Usagi hold on!*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Back in the house)  
  
Katsuo had just positioned himself to pound into her backside, when he got another idea.   
*Why not do two things at once?* A completely evil look covered his face as he looked at the   
scissors still being held in one hand. As he pounded into her very dry backside she screamed in   
excruciating pain. Then she felt a burning itch up at her right shoulder blade that imediatly turned   
into a burning pain.  
  
He had carved the first letter into her. He aslo effectivly tore her open and she was now also  
bleeding very badly from where he entered her. He pounded into her again this time harder with   
another letter accompaning the first. The blood was now sufficiently lubricating the violated area   
with enough liqiud that the pain would lessen at the next entrance. He pounded ever new letter he   
carved into her shoulder. He put himself in harder with every letter. He now had two words carved  
into her and declaired he was finished with the backside. He looked over the words now in her   
back, they said 'Your Mine'  
  
By now Usagi had retreated into the far corners of her mind so she could survive the experience.   
Somewhere in her knew that it had never been this bad. She knew that if help didn't come soon   
she would be dead. She also knew that she would never be the same again as she felt her soul   
shatter at the first violation of her backside.  
  
Katsuo looked down and saw the giant red, blueish, yellow mark on her back where the small   
table had met her back. He pressed his hand into the spot now and was recieved with a scream   
ten times worse than the first blood curdling scream. It was the sound of a person wishing for   
death but knew it was not coming soon enough. He shivered at this one and stopped pressing his  
hand into her back. He then flipped her over so he could look at her while he killed the rest of   
whatever was left of her soul.  
  
He did not hesitate to slug her in the ribs enflicting another kind of pain onto her already badly   
abused body. For some reason he could not bring himself to touch her face, so he left it alone and  
punched her in the ribs repeatedly. Finally having sufficiently broken at least half of her ribs, he   
penetrated her once virgin entryway. He forced himself into her tight dry entrance until he   
climaxed. By the time he had climaxed though he had caused enough damage to make the most   
experienced doctor cringe at the site of her.  
  
Usagi was far gone that she didn't even realise that he had finished and was getting up. She didn't   
even know he was gone until she heard the creak of the fourth step on the staircase. Her mind   
imediatlety came back at that noise and her first coherent thought in the last ten minutes was,   
*I hope Shingo got out!* She then shut her mind back into it's deepest darkest area so she could   
concentrate on living long enough to see if Shingo did make it out.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Hikawa Jinja)  
  
Shingo looked up and couldn't believe how many steps there were. His first thought was defeat,   
but then he thought of Usagi. He ran up the first half, walked one quarter, and then crawled the  
last quarter with out stopping. If he did stop he knew he would not be moving for a very long   
time. When he got to the top he slowly made his way to the front door of the jinja attempting to   
catch his breath. When he got to the door he banged on it till an old man had answered.  
  
(Inside)  
  
Rei really wasn't thinking about what Ami was telling her, She was thinking about the new   
presence she felt on the jinja grounds. She could tell that it was young and that it was in a hurry.   
That was confirmed when she heard the endless banging on the front door. Everyone had stopped   
talking and was listening to the knew conversation the could hear.  
  
"I need to speak with a Hino Rei. It is very urgent," gasped out a very young sounding voice.  
  
All the girls looked at Rei who just shrugged her shoulders and pointed the way out of the room.   
Everyone stood up and followed her out to talk to this young person. They were met half way by   
Rei's grandfather, she held up her hand to stop him from saying anything. He just nodded his   
head and continued on to the fire room.  
  
When they got to the door the boy has asked for Hino Rei.  
  
Looking at him she said," I am Hino Rei, what do you want."  
  
"I am Usagi's little brother and that if I needed to prove myself that she told me to tell you that   
I know who she is and what you guys are." Shingo had panted out.  
  
They all went wide eyed for a second thinking that Usagi had betrayed them again. But then they   
stopped at what the boy had to say next.  
  
"You need to hurry to our house or something, because Usagi really needs your help and she sent  
me to get you."Shingo now completely exhausted, crumpled to the floor and was out.  
  
The girls looked at each other not knowing what to do. Lita picked up the boy and placed him in   
Rei's room on her fouton. When she came back they all transformed and ran to Usagi's house not  
knowing what they were in for.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
ok, thats all that i am goin to write for this chapter. i could add more but i think i should stop here and thoroughly think   
about the next chapter. 


	5. Run as fast as you can

chapter 5!!!  
  
i give small warning to this chapter.   
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
(Somewhere in Juuban)  
  
So far all Rei could think about is what kind of trouble Usagi would be in to   
send her brother to the jinja with the knowledge of their identities. If she   
thought about it more she would say she didn't really want to think about the  
situation at all.  
  
"Ok, this is Usa-chan street, which one is her house?" asked Jupiter.  
  
"She has the only two-story on the street," replied Mars.  
  
They looked up and down the street.  
  
"Look, a block up the street. It looks like no one is home though," pointed   
Mercury.  
  
Sure enough there stood the two-story with no car in the driveway. All four of   
the girls sprinted the rest of the way to the house. When Rei tried the door she   
found that it was locked. She looked over at Jupiter and backed away. Jupiter   
then stood in front of the door, took a deep breath, and then kicked the door in.  
She kicked it so hard the door tried to shut again. They looked at each other   
cause they thought that they had heard something. They just shrugged it off   
and krept into the house.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
(Inside)  
  
Usagi heard the front door smash in. She thought it was Katsuo coming home to   
hurt her some more, and whimpered at the thought. She had come out of the   
catatonic state when she had heard him leave. Now she was trying her damnest to   
go back in it to avoid the direct pain. "Kami, I just wish Rei is here," said   
the souless being crumpled on the floor.  
  
The senshi had heard the plea from their position in the hallway and headed   
straight for the living room. What they saw there, they would never forget for   
the rest of their lives.  
  
Usagi had heard the sound of feet and cringed away as best she could. Then she   
heard multipul gasps and looked over. She started crying again when she saw her   
friends standing there not knowing what to do or what to say. They were in shock.  
The pain was finally starting to take over her body and she had to let them know   
about her back before they tried to move her.  
  
"Rei.......," croaked out usagi.  
  
The girls looked a little stunned that she had said something, they had thought   
she was dead for a minute. Rei walked over and bent down next to Usagi's head.   
She was afraid to touch her for the fear of hurting her more.  
  
"Rei.....I can't........move......my back....turn me over.......it hurts too   
much........be gentle I can't feel my legs." said Usagi in a croaked out whisper.  
  
At this last revealation Rei looked completely horror struck and made no move to   
turn Usagi over. Then Rei heard her whimper and decided that she should roll her   
over. Looking down at where her back touched the carpet she saw blood   
surrounding the defenseless girl. Rei signaled for Mercury to come and help her.  
  
"Careful, she needs to be turned over, but she can't feel her legs," Rei had to   
choke the words out.  
  
Mercury nodded and they smoothly slid their hands underneath her back. Usagi was   
making moaning sounds at their touch and was in a lot of pain. The girls felt   
warm liquid cover their gloves and knew they had to get her turned over fast.   
When they started to turn her Usagi gasped and said,"Forgot about ribs....messed   
up too." After she said that they started to cry but it was a soundless cry that   
Usagi couldn't hear. Turning her the rest of the way over they gasped again. This  
time Rei let out a sob as the others tried not to make a sound. Venus walked over  
and moved the hair from her right shoulder blade. She made a gut wrenching sound   
and shot to the farthest corner of the room and curled into a ball and started   
to scream.  
  
"Jupiter, get Venus to detransform and get her to shut up. I can't work while   
she is making that noise," ordered Mercury.  
  
The other three had yet to see what Minako had seen. Finally Rei realised where   
the other girl had looked and decided to look for herself. What she saw there   
made her faint dead away. Mercury couldn't look at the moment cause she was   
dabbing cloth on the deep lascerations on the middle of her back. When she   
started to move lower she saw where Usagi's back had been hit with something   
hard. The welt looked liked a damned rotten eggplant to her and knew that that   
was what caused Usagi to loose feeling in her legs.  
  
Rei started to come too and noticed that Minako had indeed shut up. She waved   
Makoto over and tapped Mercury on the shoulder. "Detransform Mercury. Makoto,   
call the fucking cops now." This was said in a deadly low voice. Before she lost  
Ami's attention she pointed to Usagi's right shoulderblade.  
  
All Ami could do was stare. She couldn't believe someone was capable of these   
horrible things. The tears that were falling from hers eyes started to come out   
a little faster.  
  
"Rei.....why did you pass out?" whispered a confused Usagi  
  
Rei had no idea what to say. "This is overwhelming. Usa, who could do this to   
you?" asked the miko.  
  
Usagi let out a small sob. "I hurt....he hurt me. It was Katsuo. Shingo's   
father."  
  
Ami and Rei looked horror struck and confused at the same time. They glanced at   
each other then looked down at Usagi.  
  
"I though Katsuo was your father too." stated Ami.  
  
"I was adopted. I don't feel to good Rei," as soon as Usagi said that she passed   
out finally.  
  
"Oh hell, she might slip into a coma now," said Ami.  
  
Rei looked as if she had been hit by a sledge hammer. *Katsuo had adopted her.   
How long has this abuse been going on? Why did I call her Usa?* The miko was   
crying in confusion and anger not knowing what to do.  
  
Makoto walked back into the room. Her face turned slightly pale when she looked   
at Usagi. "The emergency operator said to keep her awake and also that help would  
be here in a few minutes," she had said in a monotone voice.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
ok this is it for chapter 5. if you would like to know some things or make a   
suggestion just let me know. 


	6. questions

chapter 6. ok i reposted this story. let me know if it came out a little wrong.  
  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
(Outside Usagi's house)  
  
Katsuo was driving down the street when he saw an ambulance and cops parked outside his house.  
He cursed outloud and drove right on past.   
  
"That fucking cunt! I can't go home now. That's ok I have that cottage, I can go there. She is   
going to need a lesson after this though," Katsuo said darkly as he drove out of town and into the   
mountains.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
(Hospital waiting room)  
  
"Did any of you know that this was going on in the Tsukino house hold?" asked Dr. Mizuno.  
  
"No mom, I just barely started to get suspiscious today. At lunch I seen her holding her sides and   
when I asked her about it, she said she had a klutz attack and fell. I didn't believe her though.   
How long do you figure it has been going on?" asked Ami  
  
"Well judging from some old breaks and bruises I would say for about 2 years now," replied her   
mother.  
  
All the people gasped and lowered their heads. Dr. Mizuno turned around and headed for the   
operating room where Usagi was at.  
  
Rei stared at the floor not knowing what to think. She still coun't believe that Usagi was adopted.  
She lifted her head and looked around the room. There were six other people in here besides   
herself and three of them could give her some of the answers she needed. She looked directly into   
Setsuna's eyes and knew she wasn't going to get a straight answer from her. Then she turned her   
head towards Mitoki, he should know, he has known her longer than us. Rei got up and moved to   
sit next to Mitoki so she could ask him some things.  
  
Mitoki looked up as soon as he heard someone sit next to him. *Oh no, not her, anyone but her. I   
can't tell her what Usagi-chan told me. I would betray her if I did. Damnit!! Only if Mamoru would   
have went along with the charade longer. Well he might of if he knew what her personal life was   
like, then again, maybe not.*  
  
"Mitoki I want to talk to you. You have known Usa-chan..." at the name Rei called Usagi,   
Motoki thought to himself * Maybe it isn't one sided after all.* ".....longer than any of us. Did   
you know she was adopted?" whispered Rei.  
  
"Hai..."  
  
"Did you know what Katsuo was doing no her for the past couple of years?"  
  
"Not untill last week when I noticed a bruise she had on her arms and she couldn't geive me a   
straight answer."  
  
"Why didn't you tell us? We could have helped her," hissed the angered miko.  
  
"I didn't say anything to you because she asked me not to. She was afraid that if you guys would   
have helped that Shingo would have been replaced in her stead."  
  
Rei sighed at that answer. "Where is Mamoru? I thought he was her boyfriend."  
  
*Ok this is why I did not want to talk to her. I wonder how she will react.* " Follow me, I'll tell you  
this outside." Matoki stood and headed towards the door.  
  
Rei stood and looked at everyone, and then followed Matoki out.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
yeah yeah, short chapter, :p 


	7. answers and more questions

chapter 7 this one or then next will have an oc in it. plays major but short role.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
(Outside the hospital)  
  
Motoki was pacing back and forth in front of the hospital, which was pissin Rei off.  
  
"Spit it out Motoki," hollered Rei.  
  
Motoki stopped pacing and looked up. He waited till a young woman with short black hair walked   
past and then opened his mouth. It was in vain though, nothing came out. So he tried again.  
  
"Mamoru and Usagi were never really together. They broke up, I guess you could say that, last   
week. Same time I noticed her bruise. I guess Katsuo found out too. Usagi was using Mamoru as   
a front to hide the fact that she is gay. He found out and broke up with her. He must have done it   
at Usagi's house."  
  
Rei was completely dumbfounded. She walked over to a bench and sat down. She really did not   
expect that to be her answer.  
  
Motoki looked at Rei and then joined her on the bench.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
(Receptionist desk in the hospital)  
  
* I have to find Usa-chan! I just hope she is all right* thought the 5'7", short black fluffy haired   
teen. "Excuse me, can you tell me what room Tsukino Usagi is in?" asked the teen.  
  
The receptionist looked on the computer to find out the information. When she found it she looked  
a littla sad. "I am sorry but she is still in surgery. There is a waiting room right across the hall   
reserved for family and friends of Ms. Tsukino," replied the receptionist.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Megumi turned and walked towards the waiting room.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
(Waiting room)  
  
Makoto was staring at the wall when the teen walked in. She was 5'7" tall, had short black fluffy  
hair, green eyes, slightly tanned, a fit build, and was wearing baggy khaki pants with a black   
spaghetti tank top. "Who are you?" Makoto asked.  
  
Megumi looked at Makoto and said, " I am Megumi, Usa-chan's friend. We hang out every   
Thursday. She didn't show today, so I went to her house to see if she was ok. Her neighbors said   
she was taken to the hospital, but didn't know why," at the end of her statement a lone tear rolled   
down her cheek and she looked away.  
  
"How do you know Usagi-chan and why did you call her Usa_chan?" Asked Minako.  
  
Megumi looked to the long blonde haired teen and answered, " Usa-chan is my ex-girlfriend. We   
broke up but stayed really close friends. We didn't love each other like we thought we did. She   
also fell in love with somebody else." Megumi then walked over to the corner of the room and sat  
down while she cried.  
  
Everyone in the room was speechless. Setsuna had a mild worry look on her face, Shingo had one  
of those 'I knew it' looks, Minako had a disbelieving look on her face, Makoto just had her   
mouth hanging wide open, and Ami had a look of complete exasperation on her face.  
  
* I knew Usagi was gay, but I didn't think the others would find out this way. I guess that could   
prove to the others that I am not as all-knowing as they thought*  
  
* I wonder who my sister likes if she broke up with Megumi for someone else?*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
let me know what you think of this chapter 


	8. confrontation

wow long time since i have updated huh? just got caught up in life ^_^  
here's the next chapter hope you enjoy.  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
( Outside the hospital )  
  
Rei was still sitting on the bench thinking over what Matoki had told her. * I wonder who Usa-chan likes then. As far as I know she doesn't even have a girlfriend. *  
  
" Look Rei, Usagi-chan is still the same person you know, but now you know a little more about her. This changes nothing. She will always be your friend, nothing has changed," said Matoki. " Look why don't we go inside and wait with the others at least you can think about this more and know when Usagi-chan is out of surgery."  
  
Rei and Matoki stood up and walked into the hospital and headed straight for the waiting room. Once Matoki opened the door he noticed there was an extra person in the room.  
  
* Hmmmm, that must have been Usagi-chan's girlfriend. I wonder if the others know now. If so, I wasted time pulling Rei aside. Then again maybe not. Usagi-chan has been with Rei an awful lot lately. *  
  
Rei looked up and saw the black haired girl sitting on a chair in the corner of the room. Rei strides straight towards the girl and hauls the girl up by her arms.  
  
"Who are you, did you do this to Usa-chan?!" yells Rei  
  
Megumi's tear streaked face is in complete shock. She stutters out, "I...I am....was Usa-chan's girl.....girlfriend."  
  
Rei drops the girl to the ground and walks over to a chair and falls into it. "If she..." Rei points to Megumi on the floor..."who did this to Usa-chan?" After Rei asked her question she put her head in her hands and closed her eyes. 


	9. results and evil plans

oooh took me awhile to update but i have been having issues with myself and i am trying to deal with them...so the chapters are going to come out at a way slower rate....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Hospital waiting room)  
  
After about three minutes Rei realised that she should not have pinned Megumi against the wall and yelled at her like that because she had known who had beaten Usa-chan like that. She was just having a hard time controlling her anger.  
  
Rei walks over to Megumi and kneels down in front of the distraut young woman. Megumi shrinks back in fright a little. Rei clears her throat.  
  
"I am sorry, I know who has done this to Usa-chan. I forgot for a second when my anger took control of me. I hope you could forgive me."  
  
All the other people in the room looked on in shock and gasped as they heard Rei appologise to Megumi. Rei hears the gasps from the other rooms occupants and turns and glares.  
  
"What? I have appologised before you know."  
  
"It is all right Rei-san. I know that you must love Usa-chan a lot," after Megumi says that Rei gets a startled confused look on her face. "I should go home now it is getting late. Will someone contact me to let me know how Usa-chan is doing?"  
  
Rei was too deep in thought to reply to the request so Ami spoke up and said that she would. Megumi stood up and left the room with her head hanging.  
  
Rei numbly sat herself in the chair that Megumi had just vacated and kept the blank look on her face. No one in the room dared to comment on what Megumi had suggested.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Mountains outside of Juuban)  
  
Katsuo paced the cabin floor thinking of a plan to get Usagi.* I can't go to the hospital without a disguise. I also have to wait for a time when she is completely alone. I need to get to her before they can fully get out of her what has been going on. I think I will have to wait for a time when the little cunt is out of the hospital. It would be too hard to get her from the hospital with all of the security. That's it I will wait and get her after she is discharged. Now to figure out how and where.*  
  
He stalked over to the cooler full of beer, pulled it open and grabbed a long neck and imediatly began to down it after he opened the bottle.  
  
Katsuo looked around the cabin and stared at all the holes and broken windows in the cabin. *I am going to have to repair this shit before I get the bitch. I wouldn't want any unexpected hikers to be poking around.*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(12 hours later in the ER's private waiting room)  
  
Dr. Mizuno walked into the quiet waiting room with a few tears in her eyes with the news. She noticed that all of the occupants were asleep but one. She gently cleared her throat and everyone shot to attention at the noise.  
  
Rei's head snapped up at the noise and noticed Ami's mom at the door. She stood imediatly and unconsiouly held her breath waiting for the report on Usa.  
  
" Usagi-san made it through the surgery, but she still has a long way to go and we have to keep her in intensive care for at least a week to keep a close eye on her back injury," stated Dr. Mizuno. She took a deep breath to prepair herself for the next part, " There is a chance that Usagi-san may never walk again. It is also impossible for her to ever have children again."   
  
At saying this the room broke out into gasps and broken sobs. Rei started to get a little light headed and fell to the floor. Setsuna rushed over to the fallen miko and held her. Shingo was crying, his face buried into Ami's shoulder. Minako, Makoto, Ami, and Setsuna all had silent tears running down there face, but none like Setsuna's because she knew as the gaurdian of the gates of time what exactly Usagi has lost.  
  
*I will have to call the Outers into duty a little earlier than Serenity-sama and I have thought. With these new revelations we will need all the help we can get. I must consult Hime-sama about it first though.* Setsuna took a shuddering breath.* The Inners will have to know of my identity now and I will have to give the mantle of leader to one of them soon.*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Intensive Care Unit, Usagi's dream/ hallucnation)  
  
It's dim in the space where she appears, but then she can clearly define a park bench a few steps in front of her as things become clear.  
  
Usagi goes and sits on the bench and wonders if she is dead or not.  
  
' You are not dead yet Serenity ' says the all too familiar voice.  
  
"Mother??" Usagi spins around in her seat to see her real mother.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
mwauhahahaha cliffhanger just a lil but not too bad...wrote this chapter around 4:40 am...let me know just how bad or good it is please. 


	10. a visit and some news

looki another chapter....gotta be proud for me ^_~ lol...i hope its a good one...oh and i know i get spelling errors i just don't see some of em till i post...which sucks lol  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(ICU, Usagi's dream/ hallucination)  
  
"Mother!" Usagi spins around in her seat to see her real mother.  
  
Queen Serenity smiles and sits next to Usagi on the bench. 'Daughter I have to tell you a few things, but I do not have much time. It is important that you listen and try not to interrupt.'  
  
Usagi nods her head, "Hai."  
  
'There is a chance that you might be paralised from this attack permanently,' Queen Serenity says sadly.  
  
Tears start to well up in Usagi's eyes.  
  
'It's going to be alright though daughter. You will have many trials ahead, but if you stay strong you will get through them,'the Queen says as she strokes her hand down her daughter's cheek.' You also have to tell Setsuna that she will need to activate the Outers early for your's and the city's protection. Without your power the team will be at a disadvantage.'  
  
The tears start to cascade down Usagi's face now as she realises what this means. She will no longer be able to protect the ones she loves in battle anymore. Her head sags a little from the pain and helplessness of it all.  
  
Queen Serenity puts a fingure under Usagi's chin and tilts her head up so she could look into her eyes,'Don't be too sad young one. Your soulmate is to be revealed soon,' her eyes twinkle a little at saying this.  
  
Usagi cheers up a little but not much.  
  
Queen Serenity leans down a places a kiss on her daughter's forehead,'Take care my little one. I must go now and it is time for you to wake up.' Serenity gets up and backs away from the bench into the mist dissapearing.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
hahaha very short chapter but i thought this scene deserved its own little place.... 


	11. another hour in the hospital

ooooh next chapter is here...hope y'all like it...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Usagi's room)  
  
Usagi could hear a soft murmur of voices but she couldn't make them out. *I still feel so weak I am not sure if I can open my eyes, but mother told me it was time to wake up. I guess something of some signifigance might happen. Well somethin better happen if I am going to wake up from my sleep. Oh damn the pain. I knew I should have stayed asleep!* Usagi groans as the pain starts to make itself noticed.  
  
The voices in the room stop. The two slowly turn around to look at the patient.  
  
*Ok time to open my eyes. I need some fuckin pain killers now. They are not going to give them to me if they think I am having a bad dream.* Usagi's breath hitches a little as another barrage of pain hits her. Her eyes shoot open and she starts to whimper a little.  
  
Dr. Mizuno rushes over to Usagi's side amazed that she has awakened already. She puts a hand on Usagi's forehead to calm her down a little so she doesn't panic.  
  
"Usagi-san, it's me Dr. Mizuno, Ami's mother. How are you feeling?"  
  
*Is that a rhetorical question?* Usagi thinks sarcastically. "I am alright Mizuno-san, but I can't move and the pain is starting to get a little worse."  
  
"You can't move Usagi because there is swelling around the lower part of your spinal cord. It is causing paralysis. When the swelling goes down we will be able to determine if the paralysis is permanent or temporary." Dr. Mizuno turns around and says to the nurse that is in the room with her, " Could you go get a shot of morphine. I don't want her to be in much pain for the remainder of the night."  
  
The nurse nods her head and walks out the room.  
  
Tears start to make their way down Usagi's face as she attempts to hold them back.  
  
"Usagi don't worry the pain will be gone as soon as I give you a shot."  
  
"Its not that. I just want to be able to walk again." As she says this the tears start to cascade down her face and she is beginning to be wracked with sobs.  
  
All Dr. Mizuno could do was brush the tears off with a tissue and brush her bangs back from her face.   
  
"Usagi now that this has happened who has legal guardianship of you and your brother? I hate to ask right now but it is important. It is late at night and your brother and friends are out in a waiting room."  
  
The nurse walks back into the room holding the needle with the morphine in it and hands it to Dr. Mizuno.  
  
"Setsuna-san should have legal custody of me and Shingo. You will have to check with her."  
  
"Ok, thank you Usagi. I am going to give you a shot now for the pain and it should put you to sleep till tomarrow morning. Then you can have two visitors."  
  
"Ok"  
  
Dr.Mizuno gives Usagi the shot and can almost see the imidiate effects as Usagi's eyes slowly close and her breathing evens out. Dr. Mizuno takes a shuddering breath. * Usagi is practically a daughter to me. How could I have not seen this? I didn't even tell her that she can't have children anymore yet. I see her at my house studying with Ami on the rare occasion.* Dr. Mizuno brushes back Usagi's bangs one more time and says goodnight to her and turns to walk out of the room with the nurse accompaning her.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Waiting room)  
  
A nurse walks into the room and starts to look around. Everyone in the room looks up at her expectantly.  
  
The nurse finaly speaks up," I am looking for a Meouh Setsuna."  
  
Setsuna stands up and looks at the nurse inquisitively.  
  
"I am here to see if you have legal documents about you being the gaurdian of Tsukino Shingo and Usagi. If you do, you need to follow me for a second please." The nurse turns to the rest of the group," Dr. Mizuno should be here in a minute to talk to you all."  
  
Setsuna follows the nurse out the door. Everyone else is looking at each other wondering why Dr. Mizuno is coming back to talk to them when she talked to them not an hour ago when Usagi got out of surgery.  
  
All eyes are glued to the door as Dr. Mizuno comes walking.   
  
Looking a little bit startled at the attention she is getting she assumes that the nurse muust have said something.  
  
Shingo speaks up,"Dr. Mizuno has somethin else gone wrong, that is why you have come back?" he asked with worry in his voice.  
  
Dr. Mizuno's face becomes more soft looking at this question and she goes and sits next to Shingo.  
  
Ami looks a little bit suprised at this move as her mother usually tries to distance herself from the family of patients.  
  
"No, in fact I have good news," states Dr. Mizuno looking at Shingo first then the rest of everyone else in the room lingering on Ami for a second."Usagi woke up a few minutes ago and was talking to me as I happened to be in the room checking on her. I was quite amazed that she woke up this soon. We were not expecting her to wake up until at least tomarrow. She was in some pain so we gave her a shot and she fell back asleep. Tomarrow she is allowed to have two visitors. It will be Setsuna-san and Shingo-san since they are her family and legal guardian. Saturday, two days from now, everyone else will be able to visit for a few minutes but must not upset Usagi in any way."  
  
Shingo gave Dr. Mizuno a hug at this and thanks her profusely. All the other occupants of the room look a litle happy but not too much.  
  
Rei just holds her head in her hands.  
  
Minako suddenly looks up and looks around the room.*I feel an intense surge of love. A soulmate bond kind of love. I wonder who it is coming from. Ah ha! Matoki must be thinking about me. Ha ha ha.* She suddenly has a huge grin on her face flashing it at Matoki.  
  
Matoki sees this and becomes a little uncomfortable and fidgits in his seat.  
  
At that precise moment Setsuna walks back into the room."Shingo why don't you go get us something to drink I would like to talk to the girls for a minute. Matoki-san why don't you go help Shingo with the drinks I don't think he will be able to carry them all by himself as there are many of us here."  
  
Matoki and Shingo stand up and Setsuna hands them some money and they head out of the room looking for vending machines. Dr. Mizuno takes this as her cue to exit the room. Before she reaches the door she turns around and looks at Ami,"Could you wait here for another thirty minutes Ami? I am going home early tonight and I would like to take you out to dinner."  
  
Ami smiles brightly at this,"Of course Mother, I would like for us to go out to dinner."  
  
Dr. Mizuno smiles and nods her head then turns to walk out the door. All the girls in the room smile at this because they know how much Ami loves her mother and how little time they get to spend together.  
  
Setsuna turns around and locks the door. Everyone looks at her wide-eyed. Setsuna then walks into the middle of the room and turns into Pluto. Everyone's jaw drops to the ground.  
  
"It is time that I reveal myself to you all because of the situation. This alters the timeline extremely with what has happened to Usagi and as of now I have no idea what will come to be. For every possible future right now is clouded," Pluto says looking at every one of the senshi. They had transformed automatically at Pluto's appearance.  
  
Mars steps forward,"What will happen now that Moon is now out of action?"  
  
"I will have to talk to Serenity to find out, but I am pretty sure that the Outers will be brought here to help you with the youma and to help protect the princess," states Pluto.  
  
All the senshi nod at this and de-transform. Setsuna goes and unlocks the door.  
  
"So how long has Usagi had all her memories back?" asks Ami.  
  
"She has had them since she first turned into the shenshi of the Moon. She has known for three years now," replies Setsuna.  
  
At this all the girls look down at the ground.  
  
"Don't worry young ones. I have always been able to talk to the princess so she was not alone in her knowledge and was able to talk to me about everything," says Setsuna.  
  
All the girls nod at this feeling a little better. At that moment the two guys walk in and start passing out the drinks.   
  
Setsuna looks over to Shingo,"Come Shingo, it is time for us to go. It is getting late and we are to come back in the morning to visit your sister for thirty minutes and then I will take you to school. From now on I will escort you to school in case your father tries to come after you."  
  
"Thank you Setsuna-san for taking care of me. I greatly appreciate it." Shingo follows Setsuna out the room.  
  
Everyone else looks around then figures they might as go home as well.  
  
Makoto looks over to Ami," Ami, I could wait here with you if you like until your mother gets off."  
  
"Thank you Mako," says Ami.  
  
Rei, Minako, and Matoki say goodnight to Ami and Makoto and walk out of the room.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
wow i think this was one of my longer chapters..i hope you all enjoy and let me know what ya think.  
  
ok the ages.. if y'all can't figure it out...i thought they might be of some importance ~_^  
  
usagi=17  
  
rei=17  
  
makoto=18  
  
minako=17  
  
shingo=14  
  
setsuna=25(well when she is currently on earth that will be her age cause thats what she looks like)  
  
````````  
  
outers  
  
haruka=20  
  
michiru=19  
  
hotaru=15  
  
those will be the ages i choose so :p if you don't like it 


	12. Setsuna's gift

AN: well i know it has been awhile since i have added anything to this story... until now i didn't know how to continue to the next chapter... i was at an impass but i got an idea so let me kno how well or bad it is lol..oh by the way Ami is 17 but has a birthday soon coming up.

* * *

( Setsuna's 'house' )  
  
As Setsuna and Shingo pulled up to her 'house' all Shingo could do was gape. He slightly resembled a big mouth bass and as Setsuna glanced over she gave a discrete smile. Wouldn't do to ruin her image she chuckled to herself.  
  
"You can open your door you know," Setsuna looked over with a raised brow.  
  
Shingo slightly blushed in embarassment and opened the door. He got a better look at the mansion. It was pale blue in color almost a lilac color. At the top of the second floor of the house you could see where a large balcony wrapped around the house. From where he was, Shingo could make out a table and a few chairs. The house was surrounded by many trees and flowers with a few ivy's scattered around the front.  
  
Shingo glanced back at Setsuna. For some reason he trusted her with his life and knew Usagi trusted Setsuna with her life as well. Shingo met Setsuna's eyes, " Usagi will love it here." He stated it with such sincerity.  
  
Setsuna nodded her head, "Yes, she especially loves the garden in the back. I suspect you will as well." She gave Shingo the tiniest smirk. She thought he looked so cute when he looked like those fish on t.v. those people caught. "Please follow me. I will show you Usagi's room so you will know where she will be when she gets here. After that I will show you to your room then make us some dinner. I am quite hungry and I can imagine you are as well."  
  
"Why does she already have a room here?"  
  
"She stays over on occasion and sits in my garden to think or to keep me company. I live here by myself."  
  
"Why?" Shingo immediatly looked sorry for the question. He knew it was impolite to pry into people's personal lives.  
  
As Setsuna lead Shingo through the first floor she pondered the question herself wondering if she was truely alone. She had never felt alone here because Usagi had been around since she was a toddler. Setsuna glanced back at Usagi's younger brother, " I have never really been alone. I have know Usagi since she was a toddler. I used to babysit her and always thought of her as my little girl. She used to call me Sets-mama because she couldn't say my name. I was given legal custody over both you and Usagi in case something happened to your parents. Officially I am her godmother." Setsuna's face darkened a little, " Of course I never thought I would get custody over you two to something like this."  
  
Shingo nodded his head in undertsanding. " Do you mind if I call you Sets-mama?"  
  
Setsuna's heart almost stopped. He had asked with such a pleading and scared voice that it nearly broke the stoic time senshi. She turned around and bent down and crushed Shingo in a hug. " You may call me whatever you like, but I would be honored if you called me 'Sets-mama'," Her voice was thick with emotions that made it a little huskier.  
  
Shingo started to cry and hugged her with all he had. " I am so scared Sets-mama. I want Usagi to get better." He started to sob and shake.  
  
Setsuna picked up the 12 year old boy and rocked him back and forth."Its alright my little boy, all will be okay," She continually whispered that into his ear trying to soothe his pained soul. She knew it was a matter of time until the boy broke down. A lone tear slipped down her cheek when the boy slipped into an exhausted sleep. She craddled him in her arms and took him to the suite next to Usagi's room and layed him down on the bed. when she tucked him in she kissed him on the forehead and left the room quietly. Once in the hall she sighed and leaned against the wall. She had always thought of Usagi as her own duaghter. She helped raise the hime-sama in both of the young girl's lives. She stepped away from the wall and headed to the kitchen. She was hungry and knew Shingo would be as well when he woke up. She smiled a little when she thought of how her stoic reputation would be ruined because of the two little miracles in her life. She knew the outers would continually tease her about it when they got here. She sighed once more and shook her head.  
  
( Friday morning at the Hospital)  
  
Setsuna and Shingo slowly walked down the corridors of the hospital making their way to the ICU. Once there Setsuna stopped out side of Usagi's room."Shingo, could you give me a minute with musume?"  
  
Shingo nodded his head and sat on the chair next to the room door pulling out his gameboy.  
  
Setsuna arched her brow and reminded herself to grab that from him before she dropped him off at school. She turned around and made her way into the room. She paused when she caught site of Usagi. She was not prepared to see her in that condition.  
  
Usagi was paler than normal with multiple tubes coming out of her body. Her head was turned to the side but it looked to Setsuna like that was the only move Usagi had made all night. Setsuna silently walked to Usagi's bedside and pulled up a chair. When she sat down she started to brush Usagi's bangs away from her face. "Usagi, my little musume, hime-sama, you need to wake up now if you want to see your little brother today before I take him to school."  
  
Usagi's head turned over to the other side trying to avoid Setsuna, "But Sets-mama I don't wanna go to school," she slurred out in her sleep.  
  
Setsuna chuckled a little and then smiled sadly. It had been 3 years since Usagi had called her Sets-mama. Setsuna leaned over and kissed Usagi on her forehead and sighed. " Shingo is gonna come in here and wake you up if you don't get up for me." She had to chuckle at that because Usagi's eyes immediatly flashed open.  
  
Usagi looked sharply at her Sets-mama, "You wouldn't, would you?"  
  
Setsuna laughed and shook her head no.  
  
Usagi sighed then winced in pain. It all started to come back. The memories of the day before and how she ended up in the room she was in now.  
  
Setsuna saw the pain in Usagi's eyes and reached over to the call nurse button. After she hit the button she reached down to stroke Usagis' face but Usagi flinched away from the contact. Tears started to leak out of Setsuna's eyes at that. She knew she shouldn't hurt from that but she couldn't help it. Usagi was her musume and it hurt her heart that she flinched away.  
  
Usagi saw the pain flash in Setsuna's eyes and felt bad, but the thought of anyone touching her freaked her out. Tears also started to fall out of Usagi's eyes," I'm so sorry Sets-mama," sobbed Usagi.  
  
"Oh baby, my musume, what did he do to you?" Setsuna asked herself. Usagi had never shied away from Setsuna. " Its ok little one, I'll just wait for your hugs if thats what it takes. I love you like my own little girl you know and I will always be there for you senshi duties or not, you are my musume before my hime-sama."  
  
The nurse walked in at that moment and added a small amount of codine to the IV drip. " I'll send an attendant in with some broth and jello for you to eat for breakfast," and then left the room.  
  
"Sets-mama, Mother wanted you to bring the outers here because I am out of action and Tokyo will be vulnerable without me she said, but I know she meant because I will be more vulnerable now and is worried about me."  
  
" I thought she might want to do so, so I called them last night. They were in America so it was during the day for them. Musume we don't have much longer before I have to take Shingo to school so I am going to bring him in ok?" Setsuna knew it might not be just for the fact that Shingo was a boy, but he was younger and was her little brother so it might not matter at all.  
  
Usagi nodded her head and prepared herself. Setsuna stood up and went to the door and stepped out. She shut the door behind her so she could talk to Shingo alone for a minute.  
  
"Shingo, Usagi is up now and would like to say hello before you go to school. But don't touch her," Setsuna's voice hitched at that and Shingo looked slightly puzzled," she doesn't like to be touched just yet. She is still very scared of human contact, but she would still like to talk to you."  
  
Shingo nodded his head and slowly stepped to the door. He took a deep breathe and then went in.  
  
Setsuna stayed outside and sat down to give the two siblings some private time. She knew it would be hard for both. She saw a bright flash in front of her and looked up. She immediately dropped to one knee.  
  
Queen Serenity chuckled. Old habits did die hard. " Sit, Setsuna. I am not here to reprimand you or anything. I am here to give you something." The Queen smiled down at Setsuna. " I would be honored if you adopted my daughter so she could be your musume for real."  
  
Setsuna gasped and started to cry. She had no idea that her Queen knew that she thought of Usagi as her musume. She looked up at her Queen beseachingly, " I thought you never knew. I tried to hide it from you because I thought I was betraying you somehow."  
  
The Queen smiled sadly down at her time senshi. She had always known. Usagi was the only one to ever make the time senshi's heart melt. "Oh Setsuna I knew it from the day you first saw her as an infant in the palace. I saw it in your eyes and I always approved because I knew I wouldn't be around always. It made me happy to know she had her 'Sets-mama' around," The Queen smirked when she saw the blush spread across Setsuna's face. She then chuckled to herself and wished she had a camera to catch it on film so she could embarass the time senshi at a later date. It was well known that it was hard to embarass her and even better when it did happen. Oh well there went her black mail matterial. " I must go now, but I had to let you know I approved of you and I hope you cherish her."  
  
Setsuna looked up with a smile and tears in her eyes, " I always have, and always will cherish her. I will take care of her as best I can my Queen and try to be a good mother for her."  
  
After another flash of light the Queen once again fadedd back into the heavens. 


	13. a phone call

(3 weeks later)

The stay in the hospital seemed like a long one to Usagi and one she was happy to be over with. Her adopted father was always in the back of her mind, but she just pushed it down and was concentrating on getting out of the hospital. She wasn't too happy being stuck in a wheel chair either.

Her eyes were mostly vacant now days and no one dare touch her in case of a break down. Her heart said to hug someone, but her brain said pain. Physically she looked fine although the doctors said she still had many weeks of recovery for her spinal injuries. Her once glossy hair had turned dull without the attention she normally gave it, her body was thinner and pasty, but the most telling of her health was that she hardly ate. Normally everything edible in sight was gone in a second, now it was like the food had the black plague and only ate when necessary. All in all that couldn't be considered the worse of it, in all opinions, it was her aberration of touch that was the most telling of all.

Usagi's mental health had deteriorated and was the sole reason the doctors had kept her for as long as they had. Clinically she was depressed, but would never admit it. She didn't consider herself to have a future anymore because she could not bear children any longer and that was something she was looking forward to later in life. They had wanted to put Usagi on an anti-depressant but she adamantly refused.

Looking around her room at Setsuna's house, Usagi couldn't help but feel trapped. She supposed mainly because she was stuck in that damned wheel chair. _What I need is some fresh air in the garden._

As Usagi wheeled herself out of the house Setsuna watched. She had no idea of the thoughts plaguing her musume's mind. Usagi had closed off from everyone including her. Setsuna was just about fed up with it but she knew Usagi needed time to heal. She was afraid of what Usagi would do if she didn't pull herself out of this funk. Setsuna slowly turned around and walked in the kitchen. She picked up the black cordless phone that was next to the pantry. Setsuna knew of only one person who could get any sort of reaction out of Usagi. As she dialed the number a small smile came to her face but quickly vanished.

"Moshimoshi, this is Hino, Rei."

"Hello Rei, I need you to do me a favor."

Rei pulled the phone back and looked at it like it was possessed, " um, who are you?"

"Oh, it's Setsuna;" Setsuna's cheeks had slightly turned red at that. She was so used to talking to the outers that they recognized her voice immediately.

"Well in that case no problem. What do you need me to do?"

Outside in the garden Usagi was enjoying the quiet outdoors. She didn't and couldn't feel trapped out here. Usagi's favorite time in the garden was at night. She could see the moon and all the stars in the sky.

Staring at the flowers along the overgrown path Usagi Couldn't help but wonder at all the bad luck in her life. Why would she be left with that awful man. If her adopted mother loved her so much why had she left. She couldn't believe really that the woman had willingly left both children in the care of that monster. _I guess that just proves that I am a worthless nothing. Rei always tells me that I am a waste of space. My heart just hurts so much. Sometimes I wonder if life is worth living. No one actually knows the real me. They don't want to see what I am actually like. They don't care that I actually goof around to make them laugh. Hell, they never thought to ask Haruna what my grades actually were and how I had managed to make it so far on my own. They never cared to look. Only saw what they wanted to see._

As Rei walked around the side of the mansion and into the garden, she heard a sigh. It was a common thing from Usagi's lips now days. Nothing was ever heard out of her mouth unless it was a direct question or request. Like asking to pass a dinner plate or something. Rei didn't want to startle the girl so she coughed.

Usagi looked up quickly to see who was there but didn't say anything. Eventually she turned back to the flowers along the path as Rei approached.

"Hey Usagi, I was wondering how you were doing so I decided to stop by."

_Wow that was unbelievable polite of Rei. Better be careful she might have a coronary. _Usagi slightly smirked at that thought but Rei had seen it.

Rei crossed her arms, "What's so funny?"

Usagi looked up but shook her head.

This time it was Rei's turn to sigh. "Usagi, I don't know what to do here. I am so used to us just jumping into a conversation and then having our arguments. This silence is killing me. All of us."

Usagi turned away at this. She knew she was hurting the others but she couldn't find it in herself to care at the moment.

"Don't even think about turning your back on me, or this conversation. It is well passed time someone has had it with you. You can not keep on going like this. You are destroying yourself. Hime please fight this for us, for me."

Usagi kept staring at the flowers not really wanting to analyze what Rei had just said. It stung but she knew it was true. Softly, "Fight what?"


	14. tears

AN:sorry for the long delay...just didnt have the passion to continue on...hopefully this rectifies that

Tears had started to gather at the corner Rei's eyes. She honestly had no idea how to respond to such a question.

"Please Usa, we can't have you giving up," she pleaded.

Usagi's eyes just took on a darker hue at that,"Oh really Rei? I thought you guys said I was not good enough, that

you couldn't have me being a senshi anymore. Well guess what, you got your wish. I won't be able to get in your way

anymore."

Rei just took a deep breath not wanting to explode at Usagi afraid of her reaction,"We actually didn't mean it. We

were just upset and have known you were preoccupied with something we just didn't know what 'cause you never told us."

Rei looked down ashamed that Usagi had been thinking that."You mean the world to us and I still can't believe we said

those things to you. We honestly thought you wouldn't think anything of it like you usually do."

Usagi looked down a few tears making their way down her cheeks,"That's just it, you guys never wanted to know the real me.

You never looked deep enough to see. Now the one thing I had I don't anymore. I am useless, an unwanted person who can't

walk or have kids." At this Usagi broke down into deeps sobs.

Rei walked over and knelt in front of the chair afraid to touch Usagi, not knowing her reaction, but felt compelled to touch

her in someway to let her know she was needed beyond doubt. Slowly Rei reached out with her hand to caress Usagi's cheek.

Usagi gasped and tried to pull back trying to get away, but Rei persisted and kept her hand there. Usagi started to shake and

looked up with fear consuming her eyes.

"Please Usagi, I want you to know you have nothing to fear from me and would dearly love to give you a hug to reasure you," Rei

pleaded softly.

"I..I can't please don't"

"Look into my eyes Usa, and take comfort that there are people in this world who are willing to fight for you even when you don't

want to."Rei started to rub her thumb back and forth over Usagi's cheek, taking care to move slow as she stood up.

Usagi's breath hitched when arms circled around her. At first she froze not knowing what to think. Then the all consuming need

for anyone to help her took over and she wrapped her arms around the miko. She gave a shuddered breath then began sobbing in

earnest.

Inside Setsuna finally let her breath out in a sigh. She wasn't sure how that how that would have turned out if Usagi had had a

negative reaction to the touch. She was glad that someone was finally able to get in.*I'll have to warn the outers not to touch still

though. No matter how that scene is going Haruka's presence would still be distubing to the young lady for some time.*


	15. Plans

Time had seemed to slow down for Usagi as her sobs continued. She felt so overwhelmed by the touch, but she craved it so much. The miko's presence calmed her and agitated her at the same time. She wasn't sure if she wanted to continue the hug or to push Rei back. Usagi knew that she loved Rei, but the last few years of her life reinforced that almost all touch was bad. Usagi started to cry harder, because all she wanted to do was love the other woman in front of her, but was afraid at the same time. "Rei, I can't do this. I'm so scared," stammered out Usagi.

As Rei continued to hold Usagi she whispered, "It's OK Usagi. Just hold on to me and I will help you as much as you can tolerate. I won't lose you to this. You mean too much to me, to all of us."

Usagi took a shuddered breath and tried to slow her sobs. Her body started to tremble, and she leaned back. She had to look into Rei's eyes so she could see something other than the hate she was used to. What Usagi saw was something she couldn't describe, it was not hate, but something she had never seen directed her way before.

Rei let her go and smoothly slid her hand back up to cup Usagi's face, " That's it Usagi, look into my eyes. They will tell you all you need to know. I won't push you again unless I think you might need it, but I will occasionally touch you in some small way so you know I am here for you."

Usagi looked down," You can't be here all the time Rei. You have duties to the Senshi and to the Shrine."

Rei heaved a sigh. She knew this next part might not go down so well, she hadn't even discussed this with the rest of the Senshi yet. " I have decided that with the power you still radiate, that you will need a semi permanent guard. I think it would be best if that was me. You seem to be able to tolerate my touch to some extent, and hey you can yell at me whenever you need to," Rei smiled. " Besides, I haven't told anyone yet, Yuichero came back into town last week asking to stay once more. He knows how to run the temple during the day so that is covered."

Usagi's face hardened, and she backed her chair away. " I don't need a baby sitter Rei!" She started to turn her chair around and head in the other direction.

Rei ran up and grabbed the handles, " Wait a minute Usagi! I never said I would babysit you! My concerns are valid. What would you do if a youma showed up while you were out shopping, huh? Yell at them to death?"

Usagi looked at Rei with a frown. She knew Rei was right, she just didn't want to feel so helpless. She had always been able to handle herself. If she wasn't able to kill the youma right away, she had always been able to hold out till help arrived. "Did the others agree to this?"

" No. They don't even know I want to do this yet. I figured once the Outers got here tomorrow, I would bring it up at the meeting."

" Do I need to be there?" asked the dejected voice.

" No, you don't, but I'm sure everyone would like to see you and know how you are doing. The others are worried because you haven't talked to anyone. You haven't even talked to your little brother and he lives here with you and Setsuna."

" What am I supposed to say? I have nothing to talk about," whispered Usagi.

" I'm sure Ami at least would have all your missed school work to go over," laughed Rei.

Usagi threw her a soured look, "Yes the highlight of my life," she answered sarcastically. " They want me to go back to school next week." She shuddered. " I don't want people staring, or talking, or trying to touch me."

" Let's talk this over with Setsuna. I think she can call Ms. Haruna and arrange something, but you need to go back eventually Usagi. You can't hide from it for the rest of your life."

" I don't want to hide Rei! I just want everyone to forget," Usagi sighed. She had seen the looks from fellow classmates she had seen when she and Setsuna went to the school office to turn in her doctor's notes. The whispers and the pitying looks thrown her way. She knew everyone was talking about her. She felt dirty enough as it was, she didn't want to make it worse.

" Well, let's go talk to Setsuna like I said. I can help you with your work, and I'm sure Ami wouldn't mind dropping by after school to bring your work and help. BesidesI need to arrange the same thing with the school if I'm to be your guard."

Usagi sighed as Rei started to wheel her towards the back door. She really wished this had never happened. She wished that life was easier and that she was a normal teenager. Usagi knew that some people had it worse than her, but at the moment it sure didn't seem like it.

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**AN: **well, there you go... a whole new chapter..I'm still revising the older chapters so I can fix the whole time line issue lol...again I was a really lazy writer. Um question: I type this out in correct spacing n all with the paragraphs tabbed away from the edged, but when I post it takes all that out...does anyone know how to fix that?


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